Wednesday, 5 July 2006

Storm

maidenhair

Last night we had another tremendous thunderstorm - just over the house and lasting in all about 3 hours although the centre probably didn't stay immediately overhead for more than 15 minutes or so. There was thunder and lightning continuously, like a bad old black and white movie with no chance of counting elephants or anything else to estimate the distance the storm was from here. I could hear the zip of the lightning before the light came at the same time as house shaking claps of thunder and torrential rain. Actually the rain, although very heavy indeed wasn't quite as drenching as the storms we had a couple of weeks back when as well as flooding under the front door there were puddles in the attic and a substantial flow down the brick chimney at the far end of the building. I was worried in case the electricity went but luckily everything stayed in place, including the phone line which is a relief.

It rained most of the morning but has been dry and warm this afternoon. I can hear distant rumbles from the south and the clouds are building up again. It's not a cheering prospect.

Paul and Lyn have both told me of the storms in the U.K. which sound horrid, but we had them here first!

This afternoon I girded my loins and went dechetterie hunting. Just as my lady at the Mairie said you take the road to Tessy sur Vire leaving from the Intermarche, but that's not the only direction you need. Luckily some signs were available and I found the place fairly easily. There is a height barrier to stop vans and commercial tippers getting in, the inevitable glass and plastic recycling bins and a place for batteries and then everything else gets tipped over the edge, just like an Irish tip. There didn't seem to be any toters. One chap there to oversee and give a hand. He seemed a bit frazzled as there was another Brit there when I arrived, backing a trailer load of I don't know what towards the precipice. Anyway, I chucked my three bags into oblivion, nearly totalled a French driver on the way out (he was charming about it!) and came home via M.Bricolage. Only another seven bags from the party to go.

Tuesday, 4 July 2006

Dumps

After an abortive attempt yesterday, when they were shut, I went down to the mairie today to get piece of bureaucracy, a Carte SEROC to enable us to use the dump at Le Molay Littry - 6 or 7 km up the road from the house. We did the recognisance for the site while Alex was here, noted the necessity for the Carte and Alex kindly made the phone call to find out how we obtained it.

It was very simple, the woman who answered had said, you just go along to the mairie with identification and proof of your address and they'll take it from there. So, late on Tuesday morning after trying to keep the thunderstorm out of my head by sleeping, there I was entering the dragon's den.

The lady behind the desk was nothing like the fierce and terrifying receptionist Alex and I had envisioned but she was still perplexed. What was a carte Seroc? she asked. I explained again, it was to enable me to use the dump in Molay Littry. Why on earth would I go there, if I lived here? That was Calvados, we were in the Manche.

This I knew. It had been a significant point in my calculations of value when deciding whether to buy the house or not but I was still amazed that the boundary was untraversable by rubbish. She couldn't help me, she had not the makings of a Carte Seroc. Our dump she advised is at St. Lo on the road to Tessy sur Vire and you just go there and dump stuff. None of this card nonsense. Much better, much easier. Much further away also, but that's clearly of no importance.

We chatted on. She introduced me to the Mayor's assistant (I've forgotten her name already, something sybillant) and she tried her English on me which was about the same level as my French. We both got out our dictionaries at the same time. Nice lady. The word will be all over town now, that the English have taken La Rupallerie.

After lunch another essential task was attempted. I rang Nomotech who claim to offer a department wide wireless internet service for la Manche. I was expecting this to be hard but the girls I spoke to did have quite good English and I gave up the thought of speaking French for them quite quickly. Unfortunately, the overcoming of language barriers didn't help us. After establishing where I live and speaking to a technician I was advised that there were too many trees around here. They plan to open a relay in Cerisy la Foret in September and I'm to be sent details and a form so that I can be put on the waiting list but it's profoundly depressing, so much so I went back to bed again. At least the cat was happy with this.

And today, confused with oversleeping, I drank half a glass of tap water without thinking. This probably qualifies as my baptism. I wonder if I'll ever go back to the UK.

Sunday, 2 July 2006

Party - the unexpurgated version

I said I wasn't going to do this but in the end, since I was writing it up for the family anyway, here it is...

I think I've got all the major events in the right order but feel free to comment, add information or corrections. I'd hate to misrepresent anyone.

party


Party:

The first guests, Lyn and Sonner arrived early afternoon on the 22nd June. We had just finished erecting some shelves in the L shaped room and made sufficient repairs to the toilet to allow it to be left with water turned on for the duration. Compared to the previous three weeks it looked very convincing with a nice white knob on the pull and no buckets catching drips.

We tried to get pizza from the van in the village but his orders were all backed up and it would have been an hour's wait so we came home again, had some more wine and I made a pasta with pine kernels and chillies. A bit too hot for Lyn unfortunately so she finished with bread and cheese but Sonner ate his up. They set their tents up in the field where the coypus were in the winter. M. Briche had cut for hay but not baled so there was lots of cut grass underfoot. Weather was cold, a bit cloudy and damp but not actually raining.

Roy, Keif, Xtal arrived in a fully packed van and Keif's friends, Chris, Steve and Adrian followed in a car. Chris gave me a pretty miniature rose and they set up their tent in the camping field. Well, Chris, Steve and Adrian did. Keif and Xtal chose to sleep in the house and Roy had to clear a space in his van for his camping home. A few more drinks and time for bed.

Friday morning dawned clear but cold and threatening rain from time to time as clouds blew over and obliterated the sun. The next arrivals were Helen and Nick, more friends of Keif's. They were exhausted from the trip so quickly set up a tent and went for a snooze. Roy started sorting out some very impressive lights and sound with help from Paul and occasionally the others.

I was called from my shower after the sound of much revving in the courtyard, and still undressed and marshalling my french for another difficult conversation with a local was delighted to find that Mark had arrived on his magnificent beast. So hugs were exchanged and another tent found a location, this time under the pear tree. He regretted that later when pear drops kept falling on his head all night.

Chris and Martyn arrived and set their tent up a very long way from anyone else. At 1.30 I set off to Caen- Ouistreham to collect Tuppence and Lawrence from the ferry port. It was an easy drive and I arrived early, taking only 45 minutes so I bought myself some chips and watched a rather irritating school party that was milling around waiting to board the outgoing ferry. The ferry arrived and so did most of the foot passengers but I waited quite a long time before they finally came through the arrivals gate - luckily for them there was a second passenger bus to bring them from the boat to the terminal, otherwise they might have been on their way back to Blighty before they knew it.

We piled into the car and started home. Unfortunately the curse of Caen overwhelmed me again and instead of taking the Periphique Ouest I managed to get onto the link road for Est (none of this marked of course) and was over the river before I knew it. I had tremendous trouble doing a U turn and eventually gave up trying, heading back up the east side of the river towards the car ferry port and hoping to see signs for Bayeux along the way. Tupps read the map helpfully and Lawrence gave much benefit of his advice. So we found the D35 and started for home along it. On the map it's a fairly direct route but it's windy and slow with many villages along the way. By the time we got to Douvres la Deliverande Tupps was fairly bursting for the loo so we stopped as soon as we saw a bar.

There is insufficient parking in Douvres, a charming and exceedingly touristy town, with cobbled pedestrian walkways and a one way system to rival Salisbury so Lawrence and I waited, double parked in a variety of spots while Tuppence boldly tracked down a toilet. Luckily (in more than one respect) it didn't take her long and we were soon on our way again.

All went well until we reached Bayeux and this is where another technique for French navigation came in handy. After we had drilled down quite a long way into central Bayeux, again a medieval place where cars are neither welcome nor accommodated and still not found a sign for 'St. Lo' or even 'Toutes directions' I realised I did know the way home from the LeClerc supermarket. This is adequately signed all over town and within minutes I was back on familiar territory and bringing my weary guests the last few miles home. We were only an hour and half late and Lawrence assures me he enjoyed the sight seeing.

By the time we were back Candice, Steve and Judy had arrived and were enjoying their first drink in the sunshine. Introductions were made all round. Estelle and Ben arrived with the essential Drum Kit and were found tent spaces. Roy had completed quite a lot of his preparations and as the evening grew darker the lights began to come into their own. Veggie chillie and rice was served, along with meat from various barbeques for those who eat it all washed down with copious quantities of alcohol and conversation. Vanessa and Andrew roared up last on Friday and the guest list was nearly complete, just missing Bob and Alex.

Saturday morning dawned, fairly bright, a little breezy but with promise. The toilet, already suffering from one anonymous attack, was targetted again and there was much merriment while pulls were refixed for a second time and floors mopped. No one knew exactly who the culprit was but they were determined in their efforts to remove the lid and detach the lever from its socket. A notice was written, short and to the point.

Bob arrived, I'm not sure if it was before or after the toilet debacle. Once he had got his tent up he started teaching diabolo to all comers. Judy had become quite good by the end of the day and most others had dabbled enough to be called novices.

By the time breakfast was over it was clear that Roy's tiny old fridge, first commissioned when he left home for University, would not service a party of 25+ in the baking heat of the day. Lawrence generously offered to fund a new one and an expedition was mustered to scale Leclerc and But (source of hilarity for some members of the party) for more food and the necessary white good. Naturally we arrived at But just as they closed for obligatory lunch. A not particularly happy time followed as we 'did' the supermarket, decided on a fridge in the local electrical boutique and were informed that the only one available was the display model. Unacceptable. So a tiresome wait followed by a panicked rush back to But for afternoon opening. Transaction completed in record time (about 3 minutes) we hurried home to relieve Estelle who had been minding the ranch. She wasn't too distressed at missing her bike ride and admitted she'd quite enjoyed the rest. Despite reports that the fridge needed 12 hours to settle before use (from the man at the shop) the instructions suggested 2 hours would be adequate, even for fridges that had been inverted during unloading, so a countdown was started with some anticipation.

At this point we began to wonder about the evening's entertainment. Roy had brought a full PA and stage lighting set, Ben had his drums and there were a number of other instruments, guitars, saxophones and even an old synthesiser from the Selidor days but no musicians. The people claiming to have musical skills were strangely reluctant to exhibit them and the three most valiant, Xtal, Ben and Adrian had never played together before and had no playlist in common. Xtal and I decided to get the tabs for a few easy songs from the internet and see what they could make of them. We found 'creep' and some other Radiohead and Queen and the incipient band settled down to work things out.

Then it was time to turn the fridge on! What a relief when it worked. It was rapidly loaded up with the more acceptable perishables and Roy's fridge was left to house the meaty products. We are so grateful for the new fridge which has been essential in the hot weather. Thank you Lawrence.

Candice took over preparation of the evening meal for veggies and with the help of Estelle, Chris and myself turned out a huge pasta salad, a celeriac salad and piles of veggie kebabs for the barbeque which Andrew, helped by Steve, cooked for us. Chris also took over cooking some delicious tofu which kept the poor dear in the kitchen far too long but was worth it.

The evening meandered on but Paul was beginning to get quite twitchy about the lack of live music, worrying that people were bored. (They weren't of course!) when suddenly the door of the house opened and the band marched to the stage. With almost no preparation they launched into a very creditable performance of Creep. All the mamas were suitably charmed but so were the others. It was really good. The biggest problem was that it was keyed a bit too low for Xtal to sing as well as she can but that's a minor problem given all the other obstacles they'd overcome. So we had Creep a few more times and then they played about with other songs they half knew for a while before returning the music to recorded artists. It boded well for Sunday but the thunderclouds were gathering.

And when Sunday came, so did the rain. In huge stormy cloudfuls, bucketing down on campers and into the house under the front door. Anyone who could make it from their tent to the house was trapped unless they were willing to get soaked on the return trip. The lounge became an ark, full of displaced persons. So Paul and I made soup, a fire was lit and the party went on. In the midst of the downpour Alex arrived, our last guest expected and very welcome. After lunch, fortified, people decided to venture out anyway, in the hope that the rain would take the hint and go away. Some made a trip out to the Chateau at Balleroy, others took off to the beach. Some of us remained huddled by the fire. By mid afternoon the rain had cleared to the extent that outside living could be resumed. Dinner was rather less lavish than the previous two days with a mezze table to supplement the chips most had indulged in on their trips out.

Various contingency plans were made by people who had to leave early in the morning, Candice and Steve slept in the owl loft to allow their tent to dry before packing, Mark moved his tent into the near tractor shed, Tupps packed herself up and decided to sleep on the sofa.

The band resumed rehearsals; rather than scare themselves with a formal performance, they continued to perfect their skills under the working title of "No Pressure" and with various guest singers practised Oasis, Radiohead and Cure songs. Nick took over guitar and Xtal became lead singer. Eventually they pronounced themselves ready for the main event and played their entire repetoire to much applause. A lot of pictures were taken which I'm hoping to obtain copies of. It really added to the party to have live music.

A chilly evening so a lot of the older folk retired indoors, where Martyn provided accompaniment to a drunken singsong that lasted until 3 a.m. The younger contingent stayed outside and had a bonfire. And so to bed.

Well, it would have been for most of us but there was still quite a lot of hubbub from outside and people slamming in and out of doors for the loo. As Paul and I had to get up at six to get Tupps and Lawrence back to Ouistreham for the ferry, we eventually lost our tempers and insisted everyone went to bed. Which was a pity, but with all that space there were other places to have late night chats and no need to be quite so offensive when asked to keep the noise down. A bad end that I would rather have avoided.

Monday morning the weather had reverted to terrible and the drive to the ferry was horrendous with sheets of rain and water logged roads. We quickly dumped Tupps and Lawrence at the entrance to the terminal and headed out again for home, but the rain didn't really stop until we were nearly back in the forest. During the morning most of the other guests packed and left for home leaving Roy, Keif and Xtal still to pack up for the evening ferry and just Estelle and Ben, Bob, Alex and ourselves to celebrate Paul's birthday. Cards were opened and admired and plans made for a posh dinner which Estelle and I went off to buy. Roy started his take down rather slowly with Bob helping him and by 5 o'clock it was clear that packing would have to be speeded up. So it was and in a supreme effort everything was packed away in less than hour while Paul and Estelle took a bike ride to the village. The posh dinner was transmuted by exhaustion into a rather scaled down affair but we had gluten/tofu sate (with some sausages on the side for the meateaters), cheeses and veggie pate and Candice Cake, all washed down with an excellent Champagne, a rather nice Beaune and some Sauternes so we went to bed contented.

Tuesday Estelle and Ben had to pack and leave, and after cooking Alex a full breakfast Bob also packed his car and went on rejoicing. Paul and I left Alex to his own devices for a bit as we took a siesta but later that day we all trundled off to the beach, paddled and had chips in a bar before coming home to sit in the yard, drink Alex's Gingered Beer and watch for owls. Unfortunately just as they were about to arrive (we could hear them coming) I had an awful coughing fit and probably scared them off. Which was a pity.

The last day with a guest was Wednesday, a week after it all began. We watched Alex pack and gave him lots of good advice, as you do, before waving him goodbye and collapsing back into our bed. Partied out.

Friday, 30 June 2006

Where do I begin?

It's been over three weeks since I blogged - and there's been so much to report I'm not sure that I can do it justice or make it interesting enough to create a full retrospective, so today's blog will be today's events and I'll try to wrap up some back issues in neat bundles over the next few entries.

It was the final day of Paul's holiday, the weather is fantastic and forecasts show it becoming hotter and hotter over the next few days with a possible maximum of 36C next Tuesday. This is probably too much for comfort but luckily the house is cool inside without the need for air conditioning so the cat and I will just rest quietly and wait for the inevitable thunderstorm.

In a last minute rush we moved the bed upstairs, rotovated a patch of ground that Alex had loosened up for me while he was here and tidied away some of the toys used for the party. Then it was time for a trip to the airport at Maupertus and the flight to Southampton. The most direct route is via the D24 through Valognes but the road is narrow and windy and on the way back I took the faster roads into Cherbourg and back out again which saved some time and my nerves. Paul is now safely back on earth although he described the landing as a barely controlled crash. He might use the service again.

It is odd to be alone again after such a visitor packed couple of weeks. My next scheduled guests are not due until the 19th or so of July. It will be interesting to see how I cope with such prolonged isolation.

No photos for the time being - I must continue chasing up broadband before I can easily upload and link to my own photos but there are a few party pics at Mym's and Chris's flickr sites.

Sunday, 4 June 2006

I'll take the high road.

cneorum

and now, the time has come and so I face the final curtain...

or maybe not. Anyway this will be the last entry from the UK and the next one delivered from France depends on how quickly connections can be put in place.

The packing, well put simply, it's not done. We'll take a load of stuff randomly and I'll be unhappy because things I've left behind will decay and die, and stuff I'd like to have may never reach me. It shouldn't be the end of the world, even though I feel like it is.

I hope to see many friends throughout the summer, you know where I am and I'm not going anywhere much.

Think strengthening thoughts for us and the cat as we travel tomorrow night. It's going to be a trial.

Saturday, 3 June 2006

Boxes (for packing)

Still not packed. Oh well, it's not that important.

We have decided we need more boxes. So it's a trip out to Ikea (excuse, what excuse?) to buy some cheap plastic stackers so that I can organise the load for the van. We're not going to be able to take much more than our bedding and the cat animal in the load for Monday evening.

I've never done the Eurotunnel in a car before, only the train once to Brussels. It will be a new experience but I'm not 100% looking forward to it. A lot of driving with a noisy passenger, overnight because it's so much cheaper.

Last night, a farewell dinner at Tas at London Bridge. Nice food, incredibly noise as expected. My throat is sore and conversations were nearly as stilted as those in clubs. I understand how it will be to be 104 and without my hearing. After repeating the same thing 42 times how relieving it must be to be to announce loudly "I'm a 104 years old, you know" and leave it at that.

Thursday, 1 June 2006

A poem, that just about sums me up...

The Old Sailor
by A.A. Milne

There was once an old sailor my grandfather knew
Who had so many things which he wanted to do
That, whenever he thought it was time to begin,
He couldn't because of the state he was in.

He was shipwrecked, and lived on a island for weeks,
And he wanted a hat, and he wanted some breeks;
And he wanted some nets, or a line and some hooks
For the turtles and things which you read of in books.

And, thinking of this, he remembered a thing
Which he wanted (for water) and that was a spring;
And he thought that to talk to he'd look for, and keep
(If he found it) a goat, or some chickens and sheep.

Then, because of the weather, he wanted a hut
With a door (to come in by) which opened and shut
(With a jerk, which was useful if snakes were about),
And a very strong lock to keep savages out.

He began on the fish-hooks, and when he'd begun
He decided he couldn't because of the sun.
So he knew what he ought to begin with, and that
Was to find, or to make, a large sun-stopping hat.

He was making the hat with some leaves from a tree,
When he thought, "I'm as hot as a body can be,
And I've nothing to take for my terrible thirst;
So I'll look for a spring, and I'll look for it first."
Then he thought as he started, "Oh, dear and oh, dear!
I'll be lonely tomorrow with nobody here!"
So he made in his note-book a couple of notes:
"I must first find some chickens" and "No, I mean goats."

He had just seen a goat (which he knew by the shape)
When he thought, "But I must have boat for escape.
But a boat means a sail, which means needles and thread;
So I'd better sit down and make needles instead."

He began on a needle, but thought as he worked,
That, if this was an island where savages lurked,
Sitting safe in his hut he'd have nothing to fear,
Whereas now they might suddenly breathe in his ear!

So he thought of his hut ... and he thought of his boat,
And his hat and his breeks, and his chickens and goat,
And the hooks (for his food) and the spring (for his thirst) ...
But he never could think which he ought to do first.

And so in the end he did nothing at all,
But basked on the shingle wrapped up in a shawl.
And I think it was dreadful the way he behaved -
He did nothing but bask until he was saved!