Friday, 18 March 2016

I think I'm going mad


We're well into March and it feels like I'm stuck in a vat of treacle. Can't move in any direction. There are household troubles, emotional impediments and now for the last week I've been ill with some sort of noxious virus that stops me from doing anything but coughing and crying in my bed. I would say I can't bear it but of course that's not true, most things will pass and neither ranting nor passivity makes any difference at all. So it is with this situation but the numbers of tasks that are on hold are now assuming massive proportions while the time available to make a success of them dwindles. There is real despair here.

What little progress can be made is being attempted, I've not given up and can still envisage a couple of solid weeks work getting everything back on track but not yet. Some other things have to finish first. I wonder if either of us will survive that long.

Anyway, today as part of my plan to reclaim my direction I planted some more seeds. Whacky seeds for the most part that are reliant on hope and good fortune to get anywhere. They were:

Padron peppers - not so whacky but they couldn't wait any longer. Now I'll have to transport them as seedlings which is another issue but not as difficult as not getting them to fruiting size at all.

Tamarillo tree tomatoes -  having some poly tunnel space will make these more plausible and they have always amused me.

Tomatoes Scotland Yellow and Indigo Kumquat. The yellow one is one I've had from HSL before and is a very useful sort of tom, easy to grow. The indigo I have no idea about, it was a bonus pack from a supplier and I've never heard of it (goes to look...). Seems it's a F1 variety not particularly blue but orange with an indigo blush. Sounds attractive althought I don't do F1 as a rule. All my other tomato seeds are the other side of the channel. Hugely frustrating and I can only hope that a late sowing will catch up in time for harvest.

Pomegranate seeds that I saved from a Xmas fruit. Pomegranates are very nearly hardy enough to grow and fruit in Normandy so I'm going to give these a go on the same regime as citrus, outside during the summer and frost free in winter. If they germinate of course.

And finally in this round the least likely to achieve maturity some Baobabs - Adansonia digitata. Don't ask me why, it's a great tree and all that but totally impractical for my situation. Maybe it'll make a bonsai.

I've also got some lychee and tamarind seeds from bought fruit to sow as soon as there's room in the propagator. Madness indeed.


Loki said...

Good grief! I have so been there . when you think " I am losing my mind". And were not talking about that " funny ha ha I'm just kidding" kinda thing either. When you know something just isn't right with you but haven't a clue how to fix it. I have a great life but I went through a rough patch where I was just dissatisfied with where I was and the path I was on . All I can say is just keep moving.
You can slog through anything! The slow and miserable will pass, get out of bed,drink coffee and play with your little green babies. My plants help me keep my sanity.
Some days just dragging yourself out of bed is exhausting. Do it anyways! Have you tried a full spectrum bulb in one of your lights? I live in the Washington state in the USA and we get a lot of dark gray days and good bright light makes a huge difference in our moods, pretty cheap and it can't hurt to try it. Hard to get stuff done when it has piled up, pick one thing to do , one thing to acomplish and do that, slow but steady , you'll make progress. Sometimes just knowing someone is listening helps.

Lesley said...

Perhaps we could start a 'Quietly going mad in Normandy Club?' Hope you soon feel well and energised, and if you do, tell me what you did to make it happen!!

Catofstripes said...

Hello, just found these comments. Thanks both.