Thursday 1 January 2015

Bish bash bosh, it's another year.

jay feather

Here we are in 2015 and the stream of consciousness that is this blog is lurching it's way into another arbitrary temporal period. I really really meant to make more posts last autumn but I didn't and there's no point in beating myself up about that. So, since most people take this time of year as a moment to reflect on the past and future I may as well go with the flow.

Last year wasn't a good one for me. Nothing particularly bad happened but my mental state, which has been hovering around near the bottom of the spectrum of depressed for some time now didn't even manage to reach previous sun fuelled highs, the whole year in retrospect is a beigy-sepia colour without any merit. It even lacks any significant disappointment, it might just as well have not been there. I might just as well have not been there. So that's that.

Now, although I can't really bring myself to believe that one second differentiates from the next in any significant way, it's traditional to draw a line and start again. Can it be done, can I do it? I have no idea.

I'm going to spend a few days mulling it over, identifying with more precision exactly what it is that's bringing me down - that sounds back to front but I can assure you, I don't spend much time examining bad things, they're too scary. But being Pollyanna can be too much as well. It's time to disinfect the dark side. A simple one is this lousy laptop I bought. It's not wrong but it's an impediment to easy working, I need the formality of a desk.

Resolutions be gone, when I do it, whatever it is, that will be action not intent.

No comments: