Saturday 27 October 2007

PoMo part 2

The second part of the answer to life and everything is about cats.


This is my cat. We've been together for over fifteen years now and he's reaching the end of an eventful life. Before him, I've had a lot of other cats but I'm no expert. Even so, I feel qualified to record some salient facts about cat maintenance here for the edification of others.

Are Japanese cats valuable?

Too right they are. All cats are valuable and those belonging to the Japanese are no exception, but I expect the query was poorly formed. All pedigree cats are expensive and the most significantly recognised form of Japanese cat is the Japanese Bobtail. If you are planning to abuse a Japanese citizen by abducting their cat, the Bobtail is your mark.

Cat sanctuary in Normandy?

Let me give you a few of my feelings about the treatment of cats in France, and in particular Normandy. It's bloody terrible and it's no good shrugging your shoulders in a particularly British way and blaming it all on the French because this is a human failing, demonstrated with equal facility by all races of apes. We take these creatures in, use them for our own emotional support and then, when the going gets tough palm them off on others, crying huge crocodile tears while we do it. There are cat sanctuaries in Normandy but if I tell you where they are it's only so that you can help them. If I find you've been casting off your obligations by callously abandoning members of your family I will track you down and cut off your genitals. And I do know where you live.

Cats and [name your poison]?

There a lot of queries about cats and particular foodstuffs, cats and paint fumes, cats and almost any sort of ingestible material.

I'm here to tell you that cats take fancies to all sort of odd things. Usually it's just because it tastes nice, I've had cats who've chased olive stones all over the carpet, as far as I could tell because they liked the salt. Sometimes it's because they're naughty. A couple of kittens of my acquaintance could never stop themselves from chewing open the bread bags in case there was cheese inside...

If the habit becomes a nuisance or the substance in question is too bizarre then there is a name for the condition. Pica which is the voluntary ingestion of non-edible materials accounts for approximately 2.5% of abnormal behaviors in the domestic cat. There is no clear explanation for cases of pica and they are usually attributed to dietary deficiencies or mental disorder.

Wool-sucking isn't the same thing as pice because it is a compulsive, misdirected form of nursing behavior. Read more about this here.

Significant poisons of cats include lilies and their pollen, antifreeze and aspirin. Additionally there are many other toxins that you should try to keep from your cat like; Alcoholic beverages, Avocado, Chocolate (all forms), Coffee (all forms), Macadamia nuts, Onions, onion powder, Garlic, Citronella candles, insecticides, medications for humans or other animals, Mothballs and batteries. A fuller list can be found here but basically if it would harm your toddler it will harm your pet.

Non-toxic Substances for Dogs and Cats
The following substances are considered to be non-toxic, although they may cause mild gastrointestinal upset in some animals:
- Water-based paints
- Toilet bowl water
- Silica gel
- Poinsettia
- Cat litter
- Glue traps
- Glow jewelry

No comments: